Friday, January 27, 2006

everything.....in its right place........

the sun must be aligning just right for me, cause lately things have been feeling pretty f'in good. i can't question it, mock it, stray too far from what i'm doing-for fear it will go away. i've been feeling blessed and blissed. loved and star kissed. my needle has hit the groove and i'm swimming in gratitude. tired in the right places but still movin on with it.......

Wednesday, January 25, 2006

to, two, too, tu-tu, 2.....

today is my 2 year sobriety birthday. i can't believe i've made it this far.

little miracles.

thank you.......

Sunday, January 22, 2006

here today, gone tomorrow....

well it seems like it was my birthday only yesterday and now the month is almost over?! where did all that time go. as planned my trip up north was absolutely wonderful. a nice quiet dinner on the north shore, visit with a few friends, lunch with the grandparents the next day and then back again to hang out with an old friend who was spending the night. we finally got to see the new/old warhol exhibit at the walker, and i was kind of let down. i think of warhol as being much more flashy and fantastic than this show really featured. their were some good pieces and i was happy to finally be seeing it and with such a lovely friend too!

i have been wanting to swim laps again and have been quite afraid for some reason to just start up. i do have little fears like this that still come up. so i just did it. i swam 18 laps the first day, 24 a few days later, 30 a few more later and 18 yesterday, which was supposed to be my day off but i really wanted to wim, and i'm taking today off instead. it is has only been 10 ish adys, but i'm already starting to see some results. i'm only 15ish pounds off from where i wanted to be, which will hopefully be by this summer.

the job has been humming along as usual, and i'm going to hit my boss up for a raise tomorrow. i just got one a few months back when i was promoted, but i feel i have worked beyond the level i'm paid for from the start. if not i may start looking passsively on the side. i just can't keep up the hectic, chaotic pace without being compensated. i love my co-workers and job at the big lil' bakery, it's just not making the ends meet.

the most exciting thing though is still yet to come. in less than 3 days i'll have two years of sobriety. today is day 729 which, like everyday, feels like a little miracle. cheesy yes, trite no! i still sometimes can't believe it.

i just gave my plant efrom a shower and can't wait to take a bath myself. a hot soak with mineral salts sounds like just what the doctor would order, if i had one that is......

Wednesday, January 11, 2006

......to me

well tomorrow is my birthday and i have to say i'm quite indifferent to the whole thing. i'll be 31. this isn't my first sober birthday so that's not so much the shock, or lack thereof. i guess due to many things i'm not doing a whole lot in celebration. i miss birthday dinners at the times-in a simpler time that was, maybe it was more complicated and i just don't remember it as such. so no ice skating parties, dinners at the king and i or punk rock keggers thankfully.

i'm heading up north either tonight or tomorrow to spend the day with family and friends. i'm supposed to get a hot stone massage then dinner at a new restaurant on the north shore that sounds amazing-nokomis.

if and when i blow out the candles i'll make the same wish i always do and probably always will...........

Wednesday, January 04, 2006

random....

well i wish i could say it felt like the holidays are over for me, but not quite yet. 1 week and 1 day until my birthday and three weeks from today until my 2 year anniversary, which are great. these are followed by valentines day, which i think may be one of may be my least favorite holiday. that's not necessarily true, that's just the bitter gay man in me talking. i have putting off getting my last two gifts in the mail and went out today to get wrapping paper finally. apparently january 3rd (yesterday) was the day to get any and all holiday related items out of the store. guess i missed it. ooops.

so i have been feeling a wee bit "seasonal" lately. not on edge or really, really depressed, just kind of blah. last night i was even thinking/dreaming about the lush, rich, vivid landscape that minneapolis becomes in the warmer months and felt very warm if only for a moment. somebody pointed out to me that the sun hasn't shone here in minneapolis for like 2 weeks or more. i do belive it was the friday before christmas. the sun did bust out today for something like 2 minutes and i thought i was going to lose it went it went away again. at least we are at the point in the year where we are heading back into the light. how many days until spring comes?

Sunday, January 01, 2006

happy, happy new year.....