Wednesday, November 16, 2005

so much has happened in the last ten days i feel like an accurate post would be like a mind dump on all of you readers, anonymous as you are. speaking of-you can comment on any or all of these posts, it helps to make this feel less one sided. anyways i'll try to post more often. if readers comment more. or whatever-this sounds like hostage negotiations....

the new job is going along quite well and i've been kicking myself in the pants for not going full time sooner. oh well hindsight is always 20-20. just like my vision still. i have been picking up some manager shifts and the momentum is building to hopefully just getting paid like manager even when i'm not. i guess it happens eventually-that is according to the manager hire before me. the other job, the high paying traveling one, seems like it might be out of the question for next year. i am a bit down, but not out yet! luckily i made some of my own connections last year and hopefully that will pay off.

the weather dropped like like a shit ton of bricks and all hell has broken loose! yes i'm excited. i was hoping to ease into winter with a fluffy dusting of fun snow complete with sledding and hot cocoas, but no we get an ice storm and some deep freeze january nonsensical bulllllshit. the two big problems i'm encountering right now are the lack of blowing air from my car's supposed heater, which really wasn't a problem on sunday, and the abundance of blowing air into my apartment-from outside. i guess "classic apartment" sometimes means shotty windows. luckily i don't pay for heat, but unfortunately it must be on during the day when i'm at work. wow this sounds pisssssy. ok, i shut all the storm windows and have called the manager about the really ugly ones, we'll see.

my photo class was kind of a waste as i didn't get as much out of it as i had hoped. the brunt of my work has been medium format color and the class was black and white. i thought i could get something out of it, but just found myself having a hard time "seeing" in black and white again. i guess i didn't access it enough and the $$$ i put out would have been better spent on paying a lab to make some prints for me. short of going digital, for outputs only, i have to come up with something or i feel i might go crazy. i need to figure out how to ease back into this again. it feels a bit forced, but a wait and see attitude is seeming a bit too laissez-faire.........

i'm still hitting 2 to 4 meetings a week and feel great about the direction of my recovery though. over the weekend i got 2 sponsees and i'm soooooo excited and scared. they both that i am-it is rigorous honesty after all, but i only hope i can do for them what my sponsor and others have done for me. i have been sober now for 661 days-oh that looks so weird. you can figure out your number of days here. sometimes i forget that i have come such a long way and hardly remember who that person was, and then bam it all comes back to me and i recall why this whole amazing journey started in the first place. oh life......

in closing i have been trying to be diligent about eating better and working out more consistently. you'll be glad to know i'm down to 2ish pints a week of ben&jerrys. things would be better had they not come out with this though. in spite of that evil new flavor i have finally hit my lil' mini goal of getting under the 200 pound mark. 197 is ever so slightly under that, but on the gym scale-which i only go on once a week, i move the big block one stop less now, and damn that feels great........

1 Comments:

Blogger c-freak said...

mmmmm. mind dump........

7:03 AM  

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