Saturday, August 20, 2005

has it been two weeks......

things have been humming along and going so well here in the northwoods i have been losing track of time. i'm coming up on a month of happily not working; days spent at the the gym, out with friends, cooking for my mom, just basic relaxing stuff, but the move to mpls is coming. their just isn't seemingly any urgency behind it which is nice in a way, i just need to get serious here pretty soon. i'm 85-90% moved in, just waiting to wrap up some loose ends here. mainly getting my new used car, which was supposed to happen on friday and of course that would be the one day my loan officer takes off, but it has been 5 years so whats a weekend right?

i am however ready to get back and get involved in my meetings. i have only been to a handful of meetings since i've been back, and can't wait to get involved again....

Tuesday, August 09, 2005

a breath of fresh water.......

i'm feeling a bit troubled up here in the northwoods. i'm being completely wrecked by the most handsome man ever but it just isn't in the cards for us, before it ever even began-typical right. anyways he's a fatal mix of good looks, amazing aesthics and normy sense of summertime drinkin', everytiume i've run into hime he's either drunk or hungover. yes red flags pop up and no it doesn't make me wish i could still drink, which isn't even an option for me anyways, but it just hurts everytime i see him. its complicated by the fact that i'm moving back to the cities soon and he just moved back, makes me anxious to get back and to get started on school and focusing on other things. oddly enough my feelings have been captured by matt hales, lead singer and main man behind the band aqualung, his new record "strange and beautiful" found me at the record store instead of the other way around.

i'm just lovin the lake, the gym and being home with family and friends and looking forward to getting back...

Wednesday, August 03, 2005

the whattup with minneapolis yo.....

things have busy, busy busy since i touched down in minnesnowta. i spent about 12 hours in duluth before i packed up the car and headed down to mineapolis. big highlight from the whole weekend was receiving my 18 month chip from my sponsor at the pride inst., where my whole journey began 18 months previous. was great to catch with him again, in person, as we have been in contact but mostly over the phone. we've been continuing on with step work and i'm back at the beginning with a little better understanding and starting the learning process all over. it is kind of ongoing as i get to make ammends when they come up, old and new, and still pray and strive to be the best person i can and hopefully do the next right thing, which can be hard sometimes.....aaahhhhh but progress not perfection.

got to catch up with the old roomies, the lyndale avenue pretty girls, which felt great! those beauties were and are such a huge part of my recovery it was awesome to see them again. i even got to go to their sunday night meeting and meet some new people. i have been meeting more new people lately and it feels great. i was a little reserved (read=scared) when i was around and feel i denied myself the chance to get to know alot of cool ass people, good thing this kind of stuff comes back around and everyday is a new chance to start over.

as for other old friends i have been running into them left and right and whatta treat it has been! i have even been seeking some of them out and making an honest effort to make some much overdue ammends, which thankfully has been going well. most people are just excited by the new me and don't really want to talk up awful things from the past, but sometimes, not always, it is a necessary process. i have even been lucky enough to hang out with old, old, old friends (length of friendship not age but..) who flew in from out west. not that every single time isn't special, but with my travels i have been lucky enough to see them alot more than most people have this year so i'm trying not to hog them here in minneapolis, i'll wait until they come duluth-ha! so many beautiful, wonderful, amazing, special, fantastic friends i really do feel BLESSED.

as far as getting settled goes i already landed a spacious little bachelor pad in the wedge/lyn-lake neighborhood (on the southside) and have some leads on some job possibilities too. wasn't sure how i'd feel about living alone, what with my last foray into living alone being so awful, but that was a much different time in my life and the ways i went about living are almost completely opposite to how i function now. so i'll give it a shot plus with the travels i have been rooming/living by myself for the last 6 months anyway. i have been staying at home when i have a week or two off the road and my mom, or my roomie as she likes to say, was a little saddened by the news of my new place. its been great staying there and being in duluth in general but as far as where i am with my recovery, art and life i really need to be in minneapolis if i am to stay in minnesnowta. i plan on getting a car so i can make frequent trips home as it feels like my little mecca and i don't want to burn out on being in the city or lose touch on the friendships i have been working hard on up there either. it makes me feel a bit transitory, 10 years here in mpls, 2 years in duluth, then back, then on the road then here and there and back again, i know these are choices i have made and choices i am making now, i guess second guessing them isn't really option and i just pray that i'm making the right ones, only time will tell.......