Monday, February 28, 2005

the where was i game....

one of my favorite things to think back on is where i was one year ago today. one year ago today i was living in a half way house in south minneapolis. i had just gotten on of treatment and thought that just going to treatment would solve all my problems. like i would go and be cured and never have to think about drinking or drugs ever again. at the time i was still probably so toxic that that seemed like it would work. so after completing a 28 day program i moved into this mens 1/2 way house.going there was a big decision and one of the best ones i've ever made. it was important for me to be in the city, right in middle of where i used to get fucked up. in fact i had gotten drunk at every bar in that neighborhood at one time or another. facing these demons head on with a safe, sober place to go was very, very important. i remember getting there and being absolutely terrified. all the guys there seemed so foreign to me. they were mostly young straight guys, which was kind of shock coming from a gay treatment center. as of march 1st i was still struggling with whether or not i would make it there and trying, trying to find a job, i didn't actually get one until march 19th. i learned some really tough yet valuable lesoons living there. accoutantabilty, thinking of others, thinking of myself, how to handle adverstiy and how to live in the community as a sober gay man. i made quite a few friends, a handful that i still keep in touch with, at that point i had never had so many sober platonic intimate relationships with men.

so flash forward to today and i'm portland on vacation. it's monday and i'm getting ready to go fly kites at the beach. i plan on saying a little prayer for myself and all my sober 1/2 way house buddies and offering it up to the waves.........

5 Comments:

Blogger SparklesMpls said...

That was so nice to read! It seems like just yesterday we were cruising around uptown looking for something sober to do. Man, time flies when you're having fun, doesn't it?

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