Monday, July 26, 2004

the 10 spot

i always seem to find myself in this spot, right here at 10 o'clock. home, not necessarily alone, but lonely and feeling i should be out doing something. 10 was always kind of my witching hour. if i ever went out drinking before that things would tend to get bad early or stay worse later so it it was always a "good" time to start throwing back the man crans (absolut mandarin & cranberries) which was my drink for a very, very long time. i am starting to get used to being alone in my skin, it's just hard when you want people to call you. i can eat dinner alone, i guess i'd just rather not. i guess when i mediatate this is the kind of crap i try to shake, it's just very hard sometimes.

in the "real world" today i turned my alarm off this morning and went back to bed which almost made me late. i was 5 minutes early i just don't know why i would do such a ridiculous thing when i could easily snooze. i guess i like to live on the EDGE. work was what is was. not to bad not to great, just your average skinny tall not so hot 1/2 caf extra shot 3% soy milk double cup cinnamint sprinkles no lid "hold on" on my cell because i'm so very important kind of a day. nothing that a super coffeebot like myself can't handle.

got out of work, hit the gym hard and went to a meeting and saw my buddy get a 5 year chip, i want that, i so want THAT. 


Blogger joseph said...

YOU are inspiring me... stay tuned.

10:31 PM  
Blogger SparklesMpls said...

I used to get depressed if I was alone. I mean alone as in ever, at all, during any time of the day - I needed somebody else with me. The longer I'm sober, the more I realize that I enjoy my alone time. It allows time for reflection, to get in touch with yourself. Though I guess if you have too much alone time, you started driving yourself nuts. I dunno, try to find a comfortable medium. Or pick out a place, like a coffee shop, that you can go to when you start feeling this way. Have a great day!

7:28 AM  
Blogger jimbo said...

Hey SSC, I really like your blog. You should definitely keep writing.

I totally understand your 10 o'clock feeling. For me it's like these conflicting feelings of wanting to be alone/independent/mature but then also feeling like I want to have fun and friends and a good time. Normally, I choose something in the middle and then don't really accomplish either. I guess I need to work on that!

8:28 AM  

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